The Chinese New Year will be the year of the green wooden dragon. Each person decides for himself whether to believe in Eastern predictions, but, in general, most people are positive about the fact that every year in Russia is declared the year of some animal.
The image of the animal symbol of the year can be used to build the entire holiday, the entire New Year's party. In this case, guests should wear themed costumes depicting cute long-eared animals, recite poems and sing songs about dragons.
The table should be filled with treats that these animals love: vegetables, fruits and greens. And, of course, the real highlight of the holiday can be funny jokes about cute fluffy creatures. They can be found in joke collections or made up yourself.
You don't need to have any special talent as a writer. Just find any joke and rework it so that the main character is a dragon.
Jokes about dragons
Any joke about a dragon will be very appropriate at the 2025 holiday party:
A Russian, an American and a German ended up among savages. They told them:
- Whoever drinks our potion, gouges out the eye of our dragon and f@cks our woman, we will let him go.
The American drank the potion and died. The German drank the potion, went to the dragon, who ate him. The Russian drank all the potion in the village, went to the dragon, and then screams and groans were heard. An hour later he comes out all sweaty and says:
- Well, where is that woman whose eye had to be gouged out?
***
- Dad, I lost my pills! The little blue ones, have you seen them?
- We have a worse problem, son...
- Which?
— THERE'S A DRAGON IN THE KITCHEN!!!
Jokes about Santa Claus
The joke about Santa Claus will appeal to both adults and children, as this is the main New Year character. You can tell a joke about a letter to Santa Claus or about a gift from a fairy-tale wizard. A good option is to play up a person's attitude to a fairy-tale wizard at different ages.
A person has three stages of development. At five, he believes that Santa Claus brings presents under the tree. At fifteen, he says that Santa Claus is stupid and does not exist. And at thirty, he himself becomes Santa Claus.
***
Before the New Year, mom asks Vovochka.
– Do you want me to invite Santa Claus to our house?
- No, I don’t feel like reading him a poem.
– Maybe we should invite Snegurochka?
- No, I don't feel like it, she'll have to sing a song. Just order a sleigh with reindeer and gifts.
A joke about January 1st
Funny stories about the first of January will lift your spirits on the first day of the new year..
****
Two friends are talking. One tells the other:
- It's decided, I'm starting a new life on January 1st. I'll go to the pool at 9am and I'll go there all year long.
- What are you talking about? The pool doesn’t work on the first of January.
- What a horror! It was exactly the same last year. So, it's not my destiny to do sports.
****
A Russian, an American and a Frenchman are talking and bragging about who builds faster.
American: We will start building the hospital on January 1st, and by January 31st we will already be accepting patients.
French: We will start building the cafe on January 1st, and on January 31st it will open to visitors.
Russian: What's this! On January 1st at 9am we'll start building a liquor factory, and by 10am we'll all be drunk.
Jokes for the New Year 2023 for different groups
The subject of jokes depends on the situation and the company, You can divide funny stories into several groups:
- for family;
- for children;
- for adults (explicit stories).
If the New Year is celebrated at work, you can choose jokes on professional topics.
For family
Jokes about 2023 new year for family will lift your spirits and give you the optimism that is sorely needed now.
****
A man chooses a Christmas tree at a New Year's market.
– Tell me, is your Christmas tree very prickly?
– It’s not the tree that’s prickly, but its price.
****
January 1st in the army. The ensign is forming up and reading the list with great difficulty.
-Is Ivanov here?
- Here!
- Is Petrov here?
- Thirty puppies...Who are these?
- I am Zoshchenkov!
For children
Vovochka is looking at the presents under the tree.
- Thanks to Grandfather Frost, he gave me such a cool car! And thanks to Snegurochka, she gave me a game console. But my parents, as usual, didn't give me anything!
This is interesting. Only albino rabbits have red eyes. Other animals have grey, yellow, blue and even violet eyes.
Adult New Year's jokes
New Year 2025 Jokes Funny for Adults play on such qualities of the rabbit as the ability to reproduce quickly and great "lovingness".
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An old woman calls a veterinarian to her rabbit. The doctor comes and sees that the rabbit has given birth to ten rabbits. The old woman says:
- You see, I have one rabbit, she lives all alone. And suddenly she had children. Doctor, where are you from?
The doctor examined the animal and suddenly saw a huge rabbit.
- Grandma, can't you see where it's coming from? Look at this rabbit!
- Doctor, how could you think that! He is her own brother!
****
Scientists have crossed a rabbit and a mole and got a new species – the Krolota. The animal is blind and lives underground. But if the little animal feels someone…
This is interesting. The rabbit is not only the most prolific animal, but also the symbol of the legendary Playboy magazine.
For a corporate event
At a corporate party you can tell any funny stories, the main thing is to do it interestingly and with soul. You can come up with a competition for the best storyteller and reward the winner with a big carrot.
****
At the market, a man chooses a live dragon. He approaches a seller who is holding a large king in his arms.
- Why is your dragon so expensive?
This is not a simple dragon, this is a perverted dragon.
- Oh, come on, stop talking nonsense, you ordinary rodent.
- Release?
****
In the village a man asks his neighbor.
- What, Ivan, did you distill moonshine again yesterday?
- What makes you think that?
-Your dragons beat my rooster's face in!
****
The professor asks his graduate student.
- What were you doing in the lab with three students? The dragon looks at you with such respect...
****
It's better if there's only one joke teller at the party. – a person who can tell any story so that it is funny for everyone. Funny stories will decorate the New Year's party and raise the mood of both guests and hosts.
The main thing is that the jokes are appropriate for the assembled company and the situation and are not vulgar.
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