Приколы на Новый год 2025 — смешные шутки и розыгрыши

The most joyful and long-awaited holiday is already rushing towards us at full speed! There is little time left until the New Year 2025, which will be held under the sign of the Green Wooden Snake. This holiday is designed to give miracles and a sense of magic around!

You always want to make the New Year holiday fun and have a good time. A great way to please yourself and your friends is to show the latest New Year jokes. They will charge you with a good and positive mood!

It is not for nothing that they say - how you celebrate the New Year is how you will spend it! And the New Year 2025 needs to be celebrated with special pomp!

On this page you will find jokes for the New Year 2025. This will contain various memes, funny jokes, anecdotes and funny pictures. Viewing this page will cause you to burst into laughter!

Cool New Year's games "for the lazy"

Cool New Year games "for the lazy":

Funny answers

The host will read out New Year's questions for each guest, and the guests will answer, the more interestingly, the better. Questions can be of the following nature: In a hurry for the New Year, covered in needles and pricking, it starts on "Yo", dances and sings, invites everyone to come with it (not a Christmas tree, but a dancing cheerful hedgehog); It starts on "Sh", we open, pour - adds charm and shine (not champagne, but shampoo - makes hair beautiful and shiny); Blinks with bright lights and is even with us on a holiday (not a garland, but a traffic cop on a holiday on the road); With a beard and in a red fur coat, smiles sweetly at everyone, tries in his own way (not Santa Claus, but a homeless person in a red fur coat that he found); Green, an obligatory attribute of the New Year (not a Christmas tree, but green peas for Olivier), and so on.

Unpredictability

Each guest writes 5 words that come to mind on their own piece of paper. When everyone has written their words and put their pens down, the host explains the rules: you need to use the written words as a basis to create a horoscope for the coming year for your neighbor (the first guest for the second, the second for the third, and so on, the last for the first). This way, everyone will know what awaits them in the new year and everyone will laugh heartily.

Santa Claus is not Santa Claus everywhere

For this competition, the host must find out (the easiest way is the Internet) what Santa Claus is called in different parts of the world, for example, Yollupukki (Finland), Tovlis babua (Georgia), Pere Noel (France), Kahand Pap (Armenia), and so on. The host of the holiday takes turns naming Santa Clauses from different countries, and the guests guess in which country the New Year's wizard is called that. Whoever gives more correct answers will receive a prize.

New Year's toast

Guests are given cards with various abbreviations. TASS, Housing and Utilities, Ministry of Internal Affairs, OKA, GIBDD, BBC, etc. The contestant's task is to prepare a short toast, the words of which will begin with these letters. The toaster drinks to the bottom, the rest - in support of the best toast.

Remembering the alphabet

Starting with the first person at the table and going clockwise, everyone stands up and wishes for three items in alphabetical order (except Ъ, Ь and Ы). For example, the first person wishes for three words with the letters "a", "b" and "v", the second - "g", "d", "e" and so on until the end of the alphabet. It will be interesting to see how people who get very interesting letters, for example "э" or "ё", will get out.

Ball of Destiny

For this competition, the host should try in advance, that is, prepare some predictions and good wishes, put them in a balloon and inflate it. There should be as many such balloons with predictions as there are guests. Just in case, you can make a couple extra, suddenly unexpected guests drop in. Having put on a cap and a robe, the host promises to predict the fate of each for the coming year and in turn distributes the balloons chosen by the guests. Well, the last guest should not be offended, he will get a balloon without his choice. Having received their balloons, each guest must burst his balloon. Then in turn, everyone gets up and says "In the new year awaits me ..." and then continue with the written line from the prediction. Predictions and wishes in the balloons should be interesting and kind. For example, in the new year you will get a new car; in the new year you will win a million dollars in the lottery; in the new year you will open your own business, and so on.

Tangerine tree

Each person at the table is given a tangerine. At the command "start", each guest must begin peeling the tangerine, after which they must lay out the most beautiful Christmas tree from it. Whoever does it faster is the winner.

New Year - with a rhyme code

Each participant in turn comes up with their own line, which must include the phrase "New Year" and a rhyme to this phrase. This line will be the code for the holiday, for example, "On New Year's I eat and drink like a hippopotamus", "On New Year's we bought a kilo of Renclode candies", and so on. The participant who comes up with the funniest and most "rhymed" line will receive a prize.

In mittens? Yes, easy!

For this competition, you need to prepare identical stacks of bills in advance (print them out or cut them out of colored paper). Each participant puts on gloves, or better yet, mittens, and receives their stack of money. At the command "start," all participants begin counting the money (to make it easier to count, all the bills should be of the same denomination, for example, 100 rubles). The first guest to correctly count the New Year's money in the mittens and correctly name the amount receives a prize.

New Year 2025 Pranks

New Year 2025 draws:

"What New Year!" Perhaps this is the simplest, but very funny prank: meet the invited guests in pajamas with a candle in hand and a sleepy look, saying "What New Year? Normal people are sleeping at this time."
"In case of a nuclear explosion." Human curiosity is a powerful engine, and this quality is what you can rely on. In the room where the celebration will take place, place a small box in a high place (a cabinet, for example). It should have a non-opening top and no bottom. Fill the box with confetti and make a noticeable inscription from afar: "In case of a nuclear explosion." Someone will definitely want to see what's inside this box.
"The Cleaning Lady". Props: cleaning lady's overalls, a mop, a bucket and lots of confetti. In the midst of a festive feast, a cleaning lady appears with a bucket filled with water and a mop, and starts washing the floors for real, muttering curses under her breath: like, all normal people are having a holiday, and she has to go and clean up after everyone else. The assistant (a person who knows the gist of the prank) should play along with the cleaning lady, entering into an apologetic dialogue. The cleaning lady continues to wash the room, moving a bucket of water along the floor. At some point, when all the guests are busy with their own affairs, the bucket should be replaced with exactly the same one, but filled with confetti. Then the cleaning lady should approach the guests and say, "Here's your holiday!" and pour the bucket on them. Squeals, shouts, screams, laughter and a multi-colored rain of confetti are guaranteed.

New Year's jokes at the table

New Year's jokes at the table:

A toast from the heart. Everyone gathered at the table takes part in this competition. Everyone stands up in turn and makes a toast, which begins with the words: "My friends, in the coming year I want to wish you..." and then says three words that begin with the same letter as their name. It will be especially fun when the toast is made by Yuri, Evgeni and other people with names that are inconvenient for this matter.
Zodiac. The host prepares 12 cards with the names of the signs of the Zodiac in advance, hands them out to the invited guests, and then each of them must, without words, use gestures and facial expressions to depict one or another symbol of the Zodiac circle.
Perfumer. The host prepares products and objects with a specific and strong smell in advance. The participant is blindfolded and asked to guess by smell what object the host has brought to his nose.
New Year's greetings from the president. The host prepares several cards with 5 funny and unusual words in advance (for example: radish, airship, clarinet, worm, toilet, mole, banana, chansonnier, parachute, jellyfish, etc.). Then the selected participants are invited to become the president for a while and congratulate the country on the New Year, using the words that are on the pieces of paper.

Cool entertainment for corporate events

Cool entertainment for a corporate party:

The most ridiculous excuse

The host calls the guests on the situation in turn, and they must "get away with it" in turn, and whoever does it the funniest is a good boy, because at the end of the game the funniest participant gets a prize. So, the host says: You smashed the boss's car, but why? And the guests answer in turn:
Her color doesn't match his horoscope or
It seemed to me that it was an evil alien robot, and I couldn’t endanger my beloved boss and so on.
Situations can be completely different, for example, you came to work in a dressing gown and slippers, why?
You scanned your face on a scanner, printed out the pictures and hung them around the office, for what purpose?
You brought a rooster to work, why? And so on.

Situation

Two girls are selected. Each of them is offered certain situations from which they need to come up with a creative solution. The time for thinking is 15 seconds. The most original answer will bring victory.

Possible situations:

Imagine you've been saving up for months for a dress you were going to wear to a party. And then the moment comes, you buy the dress, create the perfect look, arrive at the designated place, take off your coat, and there's a girl in the same dress in front of you. What are you going to do?
You have a dream date, everything is wonderful, but at one point your heel breaks. What do you do?
You did your makeup perfectly, took care of your hair, but at the last moment the date was cancelled, what should you do?
You've eaten your fill of garlic food, applied a mask and decided to curl your hair. There's a knock at the door, and the man of your dreams is on the threshold. What are you going to do?
After a romantic evening, your date walks you home and you accidentally call him by a different name. What do you do?

Briefing

Participants are given cards with funny questions. For example, "how to make a dog fly", "how to quickly stop a plane", "how to eat pea soup correctly", and so on. In one or two minutes, players must create detailed step-by-step instructions and write them down on a piece of paper. The author of the most detailed and funny instructions wins.

Best Short Film

The guests are divided into several teams, depending on the total number of people at the party. There should be about 5-6 people in a team. The task of each team is to think up and show a funny short film on the topic: "One day from our work". For the best acting, production, etc., the team receives an Oscar in the form of a bottle of champagne, for example.

Hello, where are you from?

Each of the corporate party guests pulls out a forfeit, which indicates a specific nationality, for example, Italian, Georgian, American, Estonian, etc. When all the guests have become familiar with "their" nationality, they get used to the role of a foreign partner for a few minutes and a conversation begins (with accents), in which everyone takes part at once. The one of the guests who can guess and name the most partners by nationality, wins.

We fly to negotiations in economy class

The entire group should be divided into several teams with the same number of participants. An identical cardboard box is placed in front of each team (depending on the number of participants, the size of the box should be selected "by eye"). At the command "start", individual teams should assemble for the flight to negotiations in economy class, that is, in all possible and impossible ways to get into the cardboard box (someone on one leg, someone in someone's arms, and so on). The team that gets on the plane the fastest will be the winner.

Geometric Collective

For this competition, you will need to make some blanks (on several sheets of paper - according to the number of participants - draw individual geometric figures, for example, a circle, square, triangle, oval, rhombus, simple curve, etc.). On all sheets of paper the same geometric figures. Each participant receives one such sheet and a marker. At the command of the host, the team members must draw the remaining parts of the body to a specific figure, turning a certain geometric figure into a figure - their employee, colleague and sign each, you also need to draw yourself. Then the host collects all the pictures and shows them to the guests of the corporate party, conducts a vote for the best picture, the author of which is awarded a prize. And the pictures of the employees can be left in the office as a keepsake to raise the mood.

Raking in the money

For this competition, you need to prepare (print) a lot of money - paper bills of different denominations. Guests are divided into teams of about 4-5 participants. Each team gets a bucket (basket), and each participant gets a shovel, of course, not a real one, but a toy one or simple scoops. The host scatters the printed money around the room. At the command "start", the participants start raking the money with only one shovel without the help of their second hand and putting it in their team's basket. When all the money on the floor runs out, the teams count. The team that has collected the largest amount of money will be the winner, and the prizes will be the same "shovels" with which the participants raked the money, so that in the future, the guests of the corporate party literally rake money with a shovel.

More offers

Pairs of employees participate. All participants in a pair are tied at the waist and each is given a mop. In a circle for each pair there are "profitable offers" for the company (simple balls). The pair is located in the very center of this circle. At the command "start", each employee must collect as many profitable offers for his company as possible with a mop. And whichever of the corporate guests succeeds in doing so will receive a prize.

A well-coordinated team

The group is divided into several teams with the same number of participants. The team participants stand in separate rows. Each participant is given a toothpick. The first participants are given an open jar of olives. At the command "start", the first participants prick an olive with a toothpick and pass it to the second participants, the second participants pass it to the third, the third - to the fourth, and so on until the last. The last participants receive an olive and eat it with a cry of "ate". Then the first participants prick the next olive and pass it to the second, the second - to the third, and so on until the penultimate, the penultimate participant receives an olive and eats it. The participants pass the next olive to the participant - the third from the end, then - to the fourth from the end, and so on until the first participant eats the olive. The team in which the turn to eat the olive reaches the first participant first will win and he eats it.

Funny New Year's jokes

Funny New Year's jokes:

London... Fog... Cafe... Two gentlemen are sitting. One to the other:
-New Year is coming soon, good!
Second:
-So what? Sex is better.
-Yes, but New Year's is more often...

On December 31st, in the evening, the son comes to his mother and says:
- Come on, when it's half past 12, let's shout: New Year! New Year!
- Why is this?
- Let our neighbors think that the New Year has come to us early.

A telephone survey conducted the morning after December 31 yielded the following results:

2 percent of respondents answered “yes”;
3 percent - "hello";
The remaining 95 percent found it difficult to answer.

The entire country, exhausted by the difficult celebration of the New Year, happily went to work on the morning of January 11th...

Shortly before the New Year, a grandson was brought to his grandmother. The baby was tired from the journey, and they put him to bed. When he woke up in a bad mood and started whining, the grandmother said:
- If you don't be capricious, Santa Claus will give you a tower crane.
"Great!" he rejoiced. "Now I'll have two of them."
“Why two?” Grandma was surprised.
- And I found the second one under your bed.

There were two children in the family - one a pessimist, and the other an optimist. New Year was approaching. The parents decided to "level them out", so that there would be less extremes, and prepared gifts: a horse for the pessimist, and a pile of horse manure for the optimist. In the morning the children woke up...
Pessimist: - Hyyy, a horseyyyy... It's small, but I wanted a big one... It's brown, but I wanted a gray one with dapples... It's woodeny ...
Optimist: - And mine is ALIVE! She just RAN AWAY!

Two friends meet.
— How did you celebrate the New Year? Was it fun?
— I don’t know, the film hasn’t been developed yet…

What do Eskimos teach their children from the first steps?
- You can't eat yellow snow! Never eat yellow snow!

Morning of January 1st.
There is a note on the table: Happy New Year!
P.S. The brine is in the refrigerator.
PPS Refrigerator in the kitchen.

A traffic cop stops a car that is speeding.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" he asks the driver.
— Home. We celebrated the New Year with friends, I was a little late. My wife is worried.
- But it's May now.
- That's why I'm in a hurry.

— Let's invite those without whom no New Year is complete?
- Let's…
- Police! Police!

At five minutes to eleven a man sat down in the barber's chair.
When the hairdresser lathered his face, the client realized that the hairdresser had already started celebrating the New Year.
- You're drunk! I'm afraid you'll cut me... - the client squealed.
- And you... don't be afraid... Just show me where your chin is.

Telephone conversation on New Year's Eve:
- Hello, is this an insurance company? Can we insure a house over the phone?
- No, that's impossible. We'll send our representative now, and he'll make an agreement with you.
- Okay, send it. Just hurry up, otherwise our tree is already burning down and the carpet is starting to smoke!

A ward in the maternity hospital. The professor's rounds. Questions, answers...
It turned out that everyone was going to give birth on the same day - October 1st. The professor was surprised. They explained to him:
— We celebrated the New Year in the same company.

Son to father:
- Daddy, why did you hang the candies so high on the Christmas tree?
- And this is so that you, baby, don’t eat them before the New Year.
- So what should I do now, daddy, eat serpentine?

Two homeless people exchange impressions after the New Year's holiday:
— I had a great New Year's Eve! I leave the basement and see a bottle of vodka on the landing, about 100 grams unfinished, I look into the bin and see a sandwich with caviar, only bitten once. I drank, had a snack, and went for a walk down the street. How are you?
- Bad, I spent the whole holiday at home: some bastard put a skating rink on the manhole.

January 1st. A friend calls:
- Galka? Well, how did you spend the New Year?
- Ah! As usual, in bed...
— And were there a lot of people?

On the plane, a passenger looks out the window and, in fear, calls out to the flight attendant:
— Are we off course??
- No, where did you get that from??
- But there is SNOW beneath us, taiga, and it should be Hawaii...
- No, everything is fine, it’s just the new Russians celebrating the New Year.

- So how did you celebrate Christmas?
- Just like that. In the morning I saw socks lying under the tree, and they were empty. I just got my hands dirty for nothing...

For filming the Blue Light on RTR the following was purchased:
- A thousand bottles of champagne.
- Two thousand garlands.
— Three thousand Christmas trees.
- One box of matches.

Two alcoholics are talking:
- Listen, Vovan, they say there will be significant discounts at the sobering-up center for the New Year...
So, are we going to be served almost for free?
- You're a fool, Tolyan!!! This means that we'll have to chip in a lot for them!!!

— And now listen to the President’s New Year’s address to the people!
President:
- That's all, guys!

Call Santa Claus to your home! Call our number and your heat supply will be turned off immediately!

The grandmother asks her granddaughter:
— What would you like to receive as a gift from Santa Claus?
“Birth control pills,” the girl answers.
“Galochka, why do you need this nasty thing?!” Grandma exclaims in horror.
- Grandma, just think about it: I already have four dolls, why would I need a fifth one?

New Year's holidays are approaching. A man on a business trip decided to send his wife a gift.
She receives a parcel, opens it, and inside are tights with "Happy New Year" written on one "leg" and "Merry Christmas" written on the other. Then the wife sends her husband a telegram with the following content:
"Thank you for the gift. I hope you will come and see me between the two holidays."

- How old are you?
- Don't know.
— How many times have you watched the film “The Irony of Fate, or Enjoy Your Bath!”?
- Well, about 20 times.
- So, you are 20 years old.

A man is walking down the street and sees a woman sitting in a puddle.
- Why are you sitting in a puddle?
- Maybe I'm the Snow Maiden, or maybe I melted!

The guests have stayed too long for the New Year, the hostess doesn't know what to do. The phone rings. She comes over and has an idea... She comes back and yells:
- Fire, fire!
All:
— Who's on fire?
- I didn't hear... from one of you.

Students decided to celebrate New Year in an abandoned castle with ghosts. One girl refuses:
— My mother doesn’t allow me to celebrate New Year’s with ghosts.
- Why?
— At their work, one woman celebrated the New Year with a ghost, and now she can’t get her child into kindergarten!

The New Year's Eve celebration is a dinner ending with breakfast...

One day Grandfather Gandalf came to the Hobbits for New Year. They sang songs and danced in circles. Then Grandfather said:
— Christmas tree, light up!
But the tree doesn't light up. He again:
— Christmas tree, light up!
To no avail. Then the grandfather got angry and commanded:
- Naur ann adriat ammeen!
The fire was only put out by morning...

Stock exchange. Trading before the New Year. Above, with windows overlooking the hall, is a room. Three brokers. Two of them are running around, holding three telephone receivers in their hands, shouting: “Bring it to two! Take it! Throw off ten and deal! Four down!…” One, dreamily looking out the window:
— Snow is falling... A second's pause...
- Sell!!!

On the morning of the first of January a cry is heard from the nursery:
- Mom, you promised that Santa Claus would give me a table football! But there's nothing under the tree!
- Don't shout like that! I missed the goal because of you.

The men are discussing how each of them celebrated the New Year.
"It was just twelve o'clock," says one, "when I heard a knock on the door. I opened it, and there was Snegurochka. Well, we gave it some heat!"
- And I, - another joins in, - as always, sucked in a couple of bubbles and went outside. I wake up - there's a naked woman next to me. And all plump and white. We also had a great time.
- Well, why are you so thoughtful?
- I'm still trying to understand why the hell she had a bucket on her head, and why does she have a carrot nose?

- So what did you and Katya decide about the New Year?
— We decided to let him attack.

Following the “Click Santa Claus!” campaign, Coca-Cola plans to launch the “Backup Santa Claus” and “Format the Snow Maiden” campaigns from the New Year.

A husband and wife say to their friends:
— Come to us for New Year.
- We can't.
- That's so kind of you.

New Year! New Year!!! NEW YEAR!!!
— the liver screamed in horror

January 1st. Parents call on the phone:
- Son, how did you celebrate the New Year? Son with a hangover:
- I didn't meet him! He came himself.

At the New Year's table:
- Why do you close your eyes every time you drink?
- Yes, I promised my wife that in the New Year I wouldn’t look into the glass anymore...

— How did you celebrate the New Year?
- As a gift...
- How is that?
- Yes, I lay under the tree all night...

“Here’s a New Year’s present for you,” says the father, handing his son a guitar.
- Thank you! - the son thanks. - Wait, why doesn't it have strings?
- Not all at once, son. Once you learn to play, then we'll buy some strings.

They put a hare in charge of the forest. Well, on New Year's Eve, all the animals gathered - they needed to decorate the Christmas tree, but the hare wouldn't give them the tree, he was too strict. Well, the animals talked the fox into thinking that you were the smartest, so ask the hare. The fox came to the hare:
- Bunny, sunshine, give me the Christmas tree…
- No way, damn it.
- Honey, just a little one...
— He said that’s okay, period!
- Bunny, can I at least have some pine? Hare, thinking...
- Okay then. Suck it up so no one sees, take the birch and go...

- Aren't you ashamed: to go to a cafe right before New Year's and not come back. I didn't sleep a wink all night!
- Do you think I closed the door?

The night after the New Year celebration! A phone call! A man walks by and grumbles: "What kind of moron calls at 4 o'clock at night?!"

Entrance hall, January 1, morning. The floor is spit-covered, covered with broken bottles and trampled cigarette butts. All of this is picturesquely covered with confetti…
The door of one of the apartments swings open. Something appears on the threshold, in a tracksuit, with a swollen face and slit-like eyes. Having glanced around the adjacent territory and sighed heavily, he bends down, rummages through a pile of cigarette butts, finds a whole one, lights a cigarette and, blissfully inhaling, proclaims:
- Eh, w-what...
The door opposite swings open. Another Something appears in the doorway, vaguely reminiscent of the first. The ritual is repeated. A sigh, a search for a cigarette butt, and a blissful “Eh”…
First Miracle:
- Right…
The Second Miracle:
- Right…
First Miracle:
— New Year?
The Second Miracle:
- And you...
First Miracle:
— Is your Ninka still sleeping?
The Second Miracle:
- What are you, an idiot? Ninka is me!
First Miracle:
- A-a-a... Uh-huh... And MINE is sleeping too...

By simply rearranging the letters, Snegurochka can become either the epic Fire-hand or the absolutely politically incorrect Negro-bitch.
And the wish Happy New Year turns into brutal Shit with smoke!

So! The New Year has already arrived! Now all men can apply the "Olivier salad" face mask without a twinge of conscience!

December 31st:
Optimist:
— The New Year will be better than the old one!
Pessimist:
— The New Year will be worse than the old one!
Realist:
- Damn, I'm going to get drunk again...

Dad, what does "bride" mean?
- Well, how can I explain it to you? Well, let's say I gave you a bicycle for New Year, it's yours now, but you can only ride it in the summer.

Old New Year is not a holiday. It is a control shot to the liver!

— What did they give you for New Year?
— Do you see that turquoise Mercedes 600 under the window?
- Yeah! Cool car!!
- Here's a cap of exactly the same color...

The closer the New Year, the harder Monday is!

Sema! Why didn't they give you a train ticket?
— They said that all tickets for it are booked until the New Year!
— Is this an armored train?

Pre-New Year party in the company office. Everyone has already received, danced, and the especially advanced ones have retired…
From the corner, the voices of two young employees can be heard:
- Ah, Kolya, Kolya... You've never loved me so well... MMM... AAA... Maybe it's because there's a holiday coming up?
“No,” the young man answers embarrassedly, “rather because I’m not Kolya.”