Comic horoscope for the New Year 2025 in verse and prose by zodiac signs

New Year 2025 is approaching us with huge steps! New Year has always been a holiday of fun and pleasant pastime! Congratulate your family and friends by reading them a funny horoscope for New Year 2025 in verse. Such a funny horoscope is perfect for corporate events, parties with friends, or a festive evening with family members. A funny horoscope will bring hope and allow everyone to look at their life from a different perspective.

The year of the Green Wooden Snake is coming in 2025. Astrologers claim that 2025 will be one of the most successful years for all of humanity compared to previous ones.

We suggest you include in your New Year's holiday scenario a cool horoscope for the New Year 2025 for each zodiac sign.

On this page you will find a humorous horoscope for the New Year 2025 of the Green Wooden Snake in verse. Such a funny prediction can become a highlight of a corporate party or an original toast in a cheerful company of friends. Such a humorous horoscope can be included in the script of a New Year's event at school. Even those who do not believe in horoscopes will be glad to listen to a funny prophecy.

General Eastern Horoscope for the New Year in Verse

A narcissistic snake crawls across the earth,
She seeks happiness under the sun,
He doesn't prowl around garbage dumps like a rat.
She is cunning, powerful, and not a mirage,
You can't sell it cheap,
Who will remember her with malice?
Who will get her out of the ground with a stone?
Oddly enough, related to the Snake,
He is a breadwinner for the Dragon, like his own,
The monkey loves him too,
He won't forget to have fun with it.
He has problems with the Dog,
They have different types of nervous systems,
The Dog doesn't like to have fun,
There is no sign sadder than the Dog.
The snake never tired of sparkling and shining,
Her element is carnival,
And then let them burn her, she will rise again,
It will become even brighter and more beautiful,
He seems to be an eternal Phoenix bird,
She is the brightest sign in nature,
She is loved and respected,
Someone who knows a thing or two about holidays.
All are equal in the Zodiac cycle,
Year of the Snake, a full-fledged sign.

New Year 2025

Power-hungry Snakes and Dragons
All laws are written for animals.
And the animals cry: “It’s not easy for us.”
Live by the laws of the snake.
These laws are for the "zoo"
Needed like a dead man needs a poultice,
Because, according to such laws
Only Snakes and Dragons live normally.

New Year 2025

Firecrackers are going off like in a shooting gallery:
"Pif da paf!" and "oh-oh-oh!"
And under the tree, in the apartment,
My little bunny is dying.
But the gloomy faces are not visible
And the icons of suffering -
In it, to the song of crystal glasses,
The Snake is reborn.
The view is hilarious, but without malice,
Smoke comes out of the nostrils,
And guests crowded around,
Like a little tower.
Everyone loved the Snake:
Children and old people -
He promised to be good,
Contrary to scary tales.

Cool New Year's Horoscope in Verse

Cool horoscope for the New Year in verse:

Aries

This year is the best for Aries -
He is both kind and lucky!
Aries will be in chocolate
And nominated for a reward.
For some, the reward is chance,
For others, the process is powerful,
For many Aries, for the sake of order
It wouldn't hurt to have a charger.
Strengthening health –
An important condition in business.
Aries are in for a wonderful year -
A year of desperate worries!

Taurus

This year it's time for Taurus
Take luck by the horns,
Since this year is his
Suddenly it came to hand.
Piglet will sing to Taurus
About a happy New Year.
Only Taurus should know:
Action is the crown of joy!
This year, Taurus needs to
To be everywhere: here and there
Control the process,
May progress move forward!

Twins

Fun paint
In Gemini it will raise the spirit –
They will be able to handle everything -
There is no reason to go to the doctor.
Good health awaits them
In the vast expanses of the Black Sea,
Joy and wealth await them,
Consistency in your personal life!
The year is in store for Gemini
A round dance of strong everyday life,
A cascade of bright holidays
And a waterfall of emotions!

Cancer

In 2025
Cancers will be very lucky:
They will drink happiness from a mug,
Pour joy on your loved ones.
They won't go back -
All the bad things will be forgotten.
Like a holiday, to work
They will come running with pleasure.
Cancers are in for a career boost
And a huge steamship,
On which Cancer will rise
And it will float to good luck!

Lion

Lviv is in for dinner parties,
Long-awaited victories,
Traveling around the countries,
Life without falsehood and deception.
Also Leos will know happiness
Something that tears the soul apart.
They will be lucky in their personal lives –
Everything will be great in business!
The house will be built three-story,
They will live there in an outrageous manner,
Every evening by candlelight
See the sparkle in your loved ones' eyes!

Virgo

Virgos can't sleep on New Year's Eve
They will sing and have fun,
They will glow with joy
Their mysterious faces!
There will be Virgos in personal terms
To live as if on a big volcano,
They will enjoy passion
And make peace, and quarrel,
But the result of these quarrels
There will be a wedding for forty people.
There will be happiness and wine,
Life is like in a colorful movie!

Scales

For Libra, the whole coming year
It will be a raking year:
All Libra with a big shovel
They will rake in the salaries.
They will start families,
They will build and love,
They will swear, think, believe,
Open the doors to luck.
Waiting for Libra in the New Year
A bunch of pleasant things to do,
An inheritance awaits abroad
At the prince's residence!

Scorpion

Dear Scorpios
An abyss of happiness awaits,
This year is a joy for them,
They will have everything as it should be!
There will be meetings in restaurants,
There will be dollars in your pockets,
There will be a new apartment
And a garage for two cars.
And love will knock on the door,
The eye will light up with passion.
This year for Scorpios is
A year of miracles and new surprises!

Sagittarius

All Sagittarius in the New Year
They will not live without sin,
Because they are in love's captivity
Time will twist for change.
For Sagittarius - the sweetest ladies -
It's time to pull out your quiver,
Get the arrows out of it
And shoot at the men, shoot!
And Streltsov is a man's man
They are waiting for recognition and rewards,
Waiting for a salary increase
And pleasant moments!

Capricorn

This year is for Capricorns
It will mean a lot –
Our Piglet is mischievous
Loves the earth sign!
Very bright road
Awaits Capricorns –
Be it a cruise or a tour –
Capricorns are welcome everywhere.
Capricorns-careerists
The tail of luck will be quickly seized,
And to family Capricorns
The stork will sit near the windows!

Aquarius

Aquarius will be successful,
On weekdays - business, on holidays - laughter,
Snakes cook for them
Very valuable store -
There is joy and goodness there,
A hundred kilograms of happiness,
In it they distribute health,
They dance and sing in it!
Aquarius will be honored
Good luck awaits you this year,
Love awaits them,
What excites the sweet blood!

Fish

The year of the snake is coming -
He brings joy to the fish,
Climbing the career ladder
And luck, of course.
Pisces will swim often
In the stormy ocean of happiness,
Bring the spoils home,
Go crazy with love!
Unmarried Pisces are in for a treat
A wedding, and after the wedding children,
Singles will find
Home, residence permit and comfort!

Santa Claus Phone Number in 2025 - Free Answering Machine Numbers, Hotline

Cool Poetic Horoscope for the New Year

The snakes have been on the doorstep for a year now,
She wipes her feet.
He's about to come visit us,
Everyone will be surprised.

But I'm not surprised for no reason,
The snake is like a witcher!
How to live the year now will predict,
He will tell everyone about it!

New Year 2025

For TAURUS such a forecast:
Keep your chin up!
If they offend you –
Don't forget to give change!

GEMINI awaits the brave
Much happiness this year!
You need to eat more dill
To make your appearance beautiful…

New Year 2025

Know, VIRGO, this year
You will be lucky with love!
May you have luck in everything else too –
Don't rush into things.

New Year 2025

CAPRICORN very important
Avoid overloading.
To have all your finances
You can't spend it on medicine!

New Year 2025

For all this to come true,
Don't rely on chance!
Remember everything that is said here!
Follow the snake's orders.

And now I ask you all,
Raise your glasses together!
Let's drink to the new year,
Let it pass without any hassle!

Comic horoscope for a corporate party according to the signs of the zodiac

Comic horoscope for the new year 2025 for a corporate party in prose:

For Aries

2025 will be the same for you as all the previous ones. You will not forget your favorite phrase - "Are you telling me?!", moreover, you will learn another phrase - "Listen to me, I..."!

In general, the year of the dragon will be an ordinary year. If you decide to change your life radically, then first of all you need to forget your favorite phrases!

For Taurus

Taurus will be lucky! And luck will be especially noticeable at work – there will be a lot of it!

If you want to open something, it is better to open "the journal of your wise thoughts". Most likely, only you will read this journal, but it will be your journal and your wise thoughts!

For Gemini

If you look in the mirror and see yourself, it's a split personality. But don't be scared - you're twins!

In the year of the Snake, it is important to argue less. It is better to agree with everything that is said to you. But do as you think is necessary. And if anything, you have a split personality!

For Cancer

Your motto for the whole of 2025 is only forward! If you feel that someone is pulling you back, resist!

Important clarification!

Don't forget that sometimes it's worth taking a step back in order to then leap forward!

For Lviv

You are the BOSS OF BOSSES! Everything is in your hands or paws - as you wish. Just keep one detail in mind - do not extend your claws too much, you can overdo it.

For Virgos

You are wonderful! You are good! And there should be a lot of good. Work is good. They pay money for it. There will be a lot of work - that's good. They will pay the same - that's bad.

For Libra

Maintain balance always and in everything. Maintain neutrality. If you need to enter into an argument, it is better to start like this - "but on the other hand...".

For Scorpios

You can sting. And if you don't want to lose your job, then avoid meeting with your boss on Mondays.

For Sagittarius

Remember, no matter what happens, first negotiate and only then shoot!

And don't forget to always have a backup option, or better yet, a few good friends!

For Capricorn

The most suitable profession for you is a billionaire's spending adviser. Think about it, maybe you should reconsider your life and start changing?

For Aquarius

If 2025 is the year of the Snake for everyone, then for you personally it will be the year of the zebra. The whole year will be either white or black stripes. But this can be fixed – it all depends on you personally.

For Pisces

Don't always go with the flow - you can end up swimming in the wrong place. Think about where the "warm waters" are and head there.