Whatever idiotic actions humanity has committed over the centuries, they are all small potatoes compared to the future. Scientists (and not only British ones) have discovered that people are rapidly becoming stupid. The Flynn curve (the growth of human intelligence over decades), which apologists for progress used to like to refer to, has not only slowed down, but has also begun to rapidly fall. And not only on the scale of individual educational institutions – entire nations are starting to become stupid! It won’t work to blame everything on newfangled hobbies for gadgets, because the curve began to go down back in the 1970s, when the prototypes of tablets and smartphones were only in science fiction.
But even against the backdrop of the general stupidity of humanity, individual individuals will give the entire population a run for their money. Their actions are so stupid that entire websites are dedicated to them and even awards are given out.
10. Gary Allen Banning
The list of human stupidity is opened by a Darwin Prize winner – posthumously. In 2012, Gary came to visit a friend and noticed a sauce jar with a mysterious golden liquid. What would a smart person do? Ask what it was. Gary decided that it was someone’s drink and immediately took a sip. It turned out to be gasoline that the owner used to wash spare parts.
The idiot friends laughed loudly when Gary spat out gasoline and spilled it all over his clothes, but their laughter quickly turned to horror when he decided to light a cigarette to calm down... The poor guy died in hospital from burns.
9. Andrew Hennels
Everyone, even the most antisocial elements, are susceptible to the influence of social networks. Andrew Hennels was caught bragging on Facebook about his plans to rob a supermarket. In addition to bragging, the post contained a selfie of the future criminal and a picture of his favorite knife. The police assessed the portrait resemblance and arrested Andrew 15 minutes after the robbery.
8. Harry Hoey
Harry worked as a lawyer on the 24th floor of an office building in Toronto. They said that the windows of the building were unbreakable, and Hoey loved to brag about it. He even showed off the achievements of Canadian glass engineering to law students. And so one fine day in 1993, Hoey, in front of the students, as usual, ran up and slammed his shoulder into the glass. No, it didn’t break, it just flew out of the frame entirely along with Hoey.
7. Lukasz Chojnowski
In 2014, a retired couple from Lancashire returned home only to find a burglar sleeping peacefully in their bed. The burglar, however, was polite and well-mannered – he washed all the dishes, did their laundry and even did some grocery shopping.
The landlady admitted that the house was not particularly clean, but thanks to Choynovsky's efforts it simply sparkled. "True, he burned an old frying pan, but it happens to everyone," the old lady said generously. The illegal assistant received a two-year suspended sentence and was forced to pay a £200 fine. And yet he could have made a good housekeeper.
6. Philip Contos
A normal person tends to agree with maxims like “Don’t get in, it’ll kill you” or “If you ride a motorcycle, wear a helmet.” However, American motorcyclists are not like that! They even stage entire demonstrations on the topic of their right not to wear a helmet while riding. So in 2011, more than 550 differently gifted people marched along the roads of New York State, defending their right to dangerous riding. Until one of the protesters, Philip Contos, slammed on the brakes to avoid crashing into the bike in front of him, flew out of the saddle and hit his head on the sidewalk. Doctors who examined the body said that if he had worn a helmet, he would have survived.
5. Nick Flynn
The year 2006 will be remembered for a long time by the staff of the Fitzwilliam Museum in England. That was when a certain Nick Flynn, while descending the stairs, managed to trip and in the fall to the ground, catch and break three Chinese vases standing deep in the niches. They were at least three hundred years old, and each cost about 200 thousand dollars.
The precious objects survived the Chinese uprisings, two world wars – only to have some fool smash them to pieces. What’s more, instead of being horrified by the gravity of what he had done, Nick Flynn didn’t even apologize and instead began to reproach the museum management: they were supposedly not storing their valuable exhibits well! Which earned him an award in the “Who is the dumbest person in the world” category from the World Stupidity Awards.
4. Rhys Owen Jones and Keri Mules
What does the average person of average intelligence do on a trip to Australia? Sightsee and shop. But the Welsh tourists were made of different stuff! First they got drunk, then they broke into a nearby zoo, raced dolphins, blew foam from a fire extinguisher into a shark tank, and then stole a penguin (don't ask).
To the credit of the robbers, they tried to take care of the bird as best they could (even though they were hungover) – they fed it and let it swim in the bathtub. They were later caught trying to release the penguin into the canal.
3. Shamiso Kanyama
Now let's move from sunny Australia to no less sunny Zimbabwe. Shamiso served as a pastor in his town and believed that God had given him the ability to heal people. So when five people from his hometown asked for help in curing a mysterious disease, he, without a second thought, ordered them to bury him in the ground. Shamiso motivated his unconventional wish by saying that in this way he would be filled with the energy of the earth. The five listened to the pastor.
Later, after a predictable outcome, all five were charged with murder, despite numerous witnesses confirming their version of what happened.
2. James Allan
One of the most idiotic robberies in the world took place in 2012 in Abington, England. A certain James Allan tried to rob a shop selling printed products. During the robbery, he took off his balaclava several times (and looked great on camera), fell on the drinks counter and knocked it down, and in the end, he couldn’t even open the door to escape – because he was pushing, not pulling. The shop assistant, whom he had recently threatened with a toy gun, had to help him and open the door in the right direction.
But that's just the tip of the iceberg - the main thing is that James, apparently distinguished by his consistency in his habits, tried to rob the same store exactly ten days ago.
1. Donald Thompson
The stupidest person in the world, according to the World Stupidity Awards, was recognized as Judge Donald Thompson. He worked in the court for 23 years. And right during court hearings he used a penis enlarger for masturbation, and the severity of the proceedings did not stop his hand with the pump. Apparently, the laurels of the man with the longest penis in the world did not give Thompson peace.
As one of the court correspondents said: "One case was particularly difficult, a grandfather was testifying about his murdered grandson, who had barely begun to walk, everyone was crying. And the judge was working the pump under the table."
However, Themis does not like to be ridiculed. Thompson was sentenced to four years in prison for contempt of court and indecent exposure during court hearings. Surprisingly, the trial did not turn into a riot of laughter and jokes, although smiles constantly played on the faces of the jurors, and both the prosecutor and the defendant's lawyers repeatedly depicted with gestures what exactly 59-year-old Donald Thompson was doing under his judicial robe.
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